Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize