just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
