Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
