Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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