New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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