look no pants
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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