she was so not down for the gang bang
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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