he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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