So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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