Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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