david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
