So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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