i think my tv is drunk
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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