Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
