Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize