We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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