I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
