The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
