her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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