So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
