S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
