Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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