I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
