his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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