I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
