I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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