ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
