I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
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