You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize