And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
