did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize