i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
