Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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