The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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