I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
