I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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