at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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