do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
