I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
