i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
