does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
