idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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