Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize