Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
