y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
