if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
