So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
