i already hear my dad disowning me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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