so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
