My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
