I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if only i could text you this smell
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
