i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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