clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
