I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My breasts were aching with rage.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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