Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
