We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
