D3 body, D1 cock
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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