I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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