Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
