i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
