I'm gonna have a badass scar
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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