i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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