tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize