Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
