I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
